Saturday, November 28, 2009
【 Memoriess ♥ 】 no title.. ~
it's been long since i updated my blog xD
hahas..
i'm back
recently busy due to SPM..
for the government it's called
SIJIL PEPERIKSAAN MALAYSIA..
for Chien Hoong's theory..
it's called..
SIJIL PERTINGGALAN MALAYSIA <<>
orrrrr
SIJIL PERKAHWINAN MALAYSIA<<>
cute right?
these days crazy with spm
study?
i'll hav to say that's a nono..
=x
i still don't have the motivation to study forward ..
hahas..
what i've been doing these days is...
- my collage registration
- which collage to go to
- thinking about my results..
- worrying will i pass my driving test after spm
- what dress should i wear on our graduation dinner (chen helping me xD)
- can i dye my hair? (i haven't tell my dad yet =P)
hahas..
these are all the things that i am thinking currently xD
ytd went out with my beloved darling xD
miss him so much =O
we went to watch NEW MOON ~!!
it's a must watch show xD
a vry touching movie ..
n also vry interesting movie..
can't wait for the next one =P
too bad..
i still can't see 2012 ..
=(
i wanted to watch it for a dam long time..
aikss..
after watching the show..
me n my babe boy went for lunch at pavillion ^^V
haha of course i shared with him ==
i had phobia to food these days..
i wonder why ==
lols
watever lar..
so after our lunch..
we went to times square..
my babe wanted to find the playboy shop
which his fren said is in TS
n end up we can't find..
== therefore, we went back to leisure mall
n headed to gilly cafe =O
babe's fav place to hang out every friday xD
then at night i met up with my fren frm a game..
=O
she's nth that i expected though..
but nvm lar..
we're still frens =P
i called up uncle dan too..
cause she knew him also =P
wayyyy longer then me yet they nvr met before..
lols wanna know why?
ASK UNCLE DAN =O
i am sure he is seeing this right now xD
uncle dan if u are seeing this..
do tell me the answer =P
hahahas
=x
uncle dan found out my blog site..
n i juz found out ytd..
omgs ==
i have no idea
when did he found out my blog ==
bravo to u uncle dan =O
after our longggg chat..
as usual..
uncle dan fetch me home ~
thanks uncle dan love u lots ^^
k lar this seems like i am treating u like my driver
but then i'm nt ^^
i'll drive uncle dan around too
afterrr i get my license
so dan ~~wait me ya ~!!
^^
k lar dunno what to write dy
juz a crappy post today xDD
n oh yar..
to my beloved friends...
that is...
chen , chien hoong , mei yan, cu yin, shun, and quite a sum more..
i'll love u guys always xD
no matter what..
i can be ur ears..
do remember that =O
hehe
writen on ♥ 10:02 PM
Sunday, November 8, 2009
【 Memoriess ♥ 】 life
my life is getting more n more complicated these days..
i don't know how to express my feelings..
i don't know who to talk to..
everytime when i'm sad..
i can only side in a corner n cry...
in front of my friends and family..
i had to act happy and cheerful ..
like nothing had happen.
haha..
but then in this blog where most of the people don't know i have =D
i can express all my feelings..
=]
my hopes and dreams seems to be getting closer to me.
but can i handle it?
i really don't know..
my major is coming nearer n nearer..
n yet i have not touch any books..
i wonder how am i going to handle my exam..
my daddy is worried bout me..
but what i can tell him is..
don't worry daddy..
i will study eventually =]
when i see the books on my table..
i will start to think about my future..
n i must force myself to study..
but i just can't
there's just too many things in my brain..
my uncle says that i can think maturely..
but i don't think i can..
to me i am still a little girl..
that needs people's guidance..
show me the right path of my life..
showing me the way to succeed..
i am not as strong as people see..
i have feelings too..
i have a brain full of unanswered questions..
full of misery..
full of question marks..
and a heart full of pain..
i really wish that ..
i can find a person to sit down and listen to my story..
cause i really can't stand the misery anymore..
my heart is breaking..
my brain is hurting..
i am really miserable..
what can i do?
but then i felt lucky cause i have him in my life..
he's always right beside me..
comforting me..
but somethings i did not tell him too..
its cause i don't want him to worry
i know that he himself is facing some problems too..
what i can do now is support him for his every actions..
be right beside him when he needs me..
can anyone here be my pair of ears?
n hear my stories?
n my pain?
my heart aches every night..
it really hurts..
i am really scared i will get a heart attack..
my life is not that simple as u guys see..
there's lots of story inside yet i don't know how to say..
but at least one problem is out of my mind..
that is the problem with my lovely friends..
sorry guys that i hurt you all ..
SPM.. driving exam ... SPM ... driving exam ...
it's really making me go nuts..
i have to get my license soon..
cause i have to drive to school nxt year..
which is on january..
daddy had put lots of effort on me..
he wants to see me succeed..
he wants me to follow my dreams
do what i like..
thanks daddy for supporting me..
i really love u a lot daddy..
everytime when u leave me..
going outstation to work..
it really hurts me a lot..
do you know that?
cause you're the only one who really cares for me at home..
daddy without u ..
i really can't find any reason to be in this family..
you're the reason I'm still here..
standing in front of everyone..
daddy.. don't ever leave me..
i really need u ..
no matter what u do to me..
or how u scold me..
i know its for my own good..
and i appreciate it...
i love u my friends and family..
and of course..
i love him lots ..
writen on ♥ 9:25 PM
Sunday, November 1, 2009
【 Memoriess ♥ 】 new life
hahaha xD i am starting my new life.. =]
away frm all those arguments ..
=]
letting everything go ..
except my hopes n dreams la of coz..
my new life title is..
love me or hate me.~ dislike me pls do fk off ^^
it means that..
if u like me u're mostly welcome to be my friend..
if u dislike me.. pls fk off of my life..
i don't want to see anymore arguments..
i am dam fed up with all of the arguments =]
anyways..
tdy there's this pro vacuum promoter came xD
her vacuum is dam pro i giv a rate of 10/10 xDD
hahaa..
most of all..~~
she noes how to predict ppl's life ..
=OOO
i listened to lots of people's life..
=]
but then mine hav to wait tmr cause..
we chatted till 12 am xD which was erm 1 hour + ago =D
hehe..
i am curious what will she say about me..
so pls do stay tune if u wanna noe =P
chia0s for now xD
writen on ♥ 1:31 AM
Saturday, October 31, 2009
【 Memoriess ♥ 】 feel much better =]
after i wrote all of my feelings in this blog..
i feel much better =]
i feel like the knife in my heart have been taken out ^^...
hehe..
today i went for a hair cut at ZEX again xD..
hehe..
changed my hair style a lil bit =]
but it's still long xD
hehe
tatax for now =P ~
writen on ♥ 3:26 PM
Friday, October 30, 2009
【 Memoriess ♥ 】 fed up and enough of all of this crap =] ( Chapter 1 )
i dont know will u see this blog ..
but i am juz telling u how i feel right here =]
i am really sick n tired of everything ..
i am sick of arguing ..
sick of thinking ways to solve the problem..
sick of sitting there hearing different stories..
sick of helping anyone..
i know what i said ..
n i never ever regret what i said..
why..? cause its the truth and its from the bottom of my heart..
sometimes u did things that i really dislike a lot..
but i never told u..
why?
u told Y that u dun want to tell us is cause u don't want to hurt our friendship..
but did u think on the other hand we're the same?
u asked us to be sincere n honest..
so what i said that day in front of J n Y is how i feel all along ..
i really think that if u continue like this u really will get into trouble..
from that moment i told J n Y how i feel ..
i already expected that J will tell u everything the next day..
cause i know that u will ask her for sure..
and of course she will tell u everything =]
if u said that u asked lots of ppl about ur attitude..
these n that..
they said that u're vry nice vry good ..
u're nt as bad as we said..
ya u can go believe what they say..
i am not accusing that what they say is a lie or whatever..
u can believe them no matter what
its ur decision n ur ears.. =]
i can't stop u..
but i did ask a experienced person..
a person who is nt in this circle of situation
i told her about the story..
and i showed her what u text me and also what we chatted..
and u noe what she said?
she said..
there's no point arguing ..
its just a waste of time and energy..
ya .. i agree..
that's why since the day she told me this..
i've let everything go..
i don't wanna continue to think .. or care about this situation anymore..
and i did told her that u said that u asked lots of ppl about ur attitude this n that..
and u know what she told me?
she told me that..
if ur fren is true to u..
they will always talk about ur bad things
juz cause they want u to change to a better person.
n i did ask her how will she noe?
she told me that..
even her best fren.. dislike her...
they always argue over lots of stuff..
and of coz..
her best fren also talk lots of bad things about her
n she understands that.. if she's nt like that....
a good fren of urs wont even bother to say that..
its cause they care.. so they will only talk about it..
this is what she said to me..
then i asked her..
but then u can't say her friends ain't true to her right?
then she said..
maybe is cause u guys hang out with her more
so u guys noe more about her..
but for her other friends..
they might not spend as much time with her like u guys did..
so they can only see a part of her..
or maybe they just don't bother to tell her how she is
cause they are worried that they will hurt her...
or maybe they just want to protect her from the truth..
i seriously agree with what she said..
cause like i said before i seriously don't like my sister a lot..
ppl always say.. ur sis vry good ar..
ur sis is ok what.. nth is wrong with her ar..
then i will always answer..
yar.. to u guys she is..
but then do u guys noe the inside story of her?
i've been living with her for 15 yrs.. i should noe better then u guys right?
=]
the story about my sis is juz an example..
what i wanna say is smth like that..
but then the story about my sis is true.. =]
it's not that i dislike u a lot..
is cause.. all of this is how i feel about u..
that day u told me that CH dislikes me..
at that moment ..
i started to think..
if he dislikes me..
what for keep it in his heart..
he should tell me ..
and as u said..
u don't wanna tell
is cause u don't want to spoil our friendship..
therefore, i understand why CH don't wanna tell me..
but then the thing that i really don't understand is..
if u dont wish that ppl dislike u..
dont like ppl misunderstood u..
dont like ppl hiding secrets frm u..
dont like ppl nt telling u how they feel about u..
did u think that..
it's the same thing for us?
n the reason that we don't wanna tell u is the same?
maybe u think that i am repeating the same thing for like a millions of times..
but then this is how i think ..
on wed .. what i told J n Y its really what i feel all this time..
serious talking..
if i were the form 3 me..
i seriously will dislike u a lot..
and at the same time i will feel like slapping u..
that is just how i felt..
but i know that violence can't solve anything ...
i know that u think that..
the things u did is to ur bf only..
not to us ..
we don't hav the rights to judge u
or talk about u
or gossip about u ..
but then did u think frm the other hand?
if the things u did didn't affect anybody will the somebody comment?
like u guys always fight in the class..
ya u guys fight we should nt talk..
but then sometimes when u get angry..
ur bf will keep on talking to u trying to get u back..
u will be fed up then starts to piss..
then u will like erm example.. throw ur books onto the table ..
it actually will make a loud noise eventually it will affect ppl..
maybe u will say that i am siding Y but then i am not ..
this is base frm what i think n what i saw n also what i heard..
when u n ch argue.. the things that Y said might be vry hard to listen
but then she's juz expressing what she thinks..
sometimes when u two fight it really will affect ppl..
summore its at school..
what matter can always be settled after school which is outside of the school
right?
i don't know that will u get my point..
but then i sure hope u do ..
if u wanna say that i am a busy body that wanna snoop into ur personal life..
i am sorry
but then this is what i feel =]
and u always said that ur just telling the truth ..
and tell us no hard feelings..
ya ok u can tell us the truth
but then did u think that..
sometimes the truth might hurt someone's feelings?
like if i tell u that eh C i dun like ur freaking attitude..
what will u feel?
that day u said that CH dislike me cause i said a lot of shyt stuff
at that moment..
i was wondering what shyt stuff i said..
and of course ..
i asked u..
n u told me that..
the shyt stuff is like ..
me saying manual car is better then auto car..
i am sorry to say that..
it's the fact that manual is better then auto..
this is not consider shyt stuff..
i am juz saying the facts..
this also consider as shyt stuff?
u can ask ppl around..
manual n auto.. which is better..
i am just telling u the facts n truth..
it's nt shyt stuff..
so pls dun say that i always say shyt stuff.. =]
thanks n much appreciated =]
oh yar.. if u think that i am siding Y ..
i have say sorry about that..
=] cause i ain't siding anyone..
i'm just listening to what she say n telling her how i feel..
since wed after what i said in front of Y n J..
i nvr said anything about u anymore
cause i don't think that there's more to say..
cause i already expressed all my feelings out..
n i knew that..
i should forgive and forget..
therefore i nvr angry of anything that u guys said or do to me ..
the things that u guys said should be the truth..
so i nvr angry about it..
but then to say the truth..
sometimes when u guys laugh at me cause of my actions..
i am really angry do u know that?
example ..
when we went hiking
i feel down..
ya u guys cared about me.. asked me how am i..
worrying about me..
i really appreciate that alot..
knowing that u guys care .. thanks..
but then u guys don't have to laugh at me..
and keep on making me look dam foolish in front of ppl
and go around telling ppl right?
u guys have feelings too right?
put urself into my shoes..
if i was the one making those silly face of u..
laughing about u
will u be happy?
of cause if u guys did it the 1st time it's funny
but then the 2nd .. the 3rd.. the 4th time n etc..
it's just plain insulting n annoying do u know?
if u did smth vry embarrassed would u like me to tell everyone?
u wont right?
same goes to me..
ya the actions that i did might be silly
but u guys dont have to promote right?
it's not that i dun like to joke or what..
but then ppl has their limit and also pride..
if i go everywhere..
telling ppl ur silly story ..
will u be happy?
of cause.. if its between us friends..
it's ok..
but then u're like doing it in front of the class..
that is plain insulting ..
it's funny at 1st but then the nxt is just plain insulting..
this is how i feel ..
sorry if i hurt ur feelings while i wrote this =]
and of cause i know that when we talked about u ..
u will be very unhappy..
feel that we betrayed u or smth ..
but as i said.. the truth is always the most hard to accept n listen =]
hmm.. remember that i told u that..
sometimes things are meant to be heard nt meant to be mentioned?
sometimes i keep things to myself is not cause i wanna hide stuff frm u guys..
its just sometimes..
the things that ppl said ..
might hurt someone..
i chose nt to tell u what i said or what ppl said..
is cause i dont wanna hurt u...
do u understand?
it's nt as easy as u thought..
u say that u want ppl to be honest with u..
ok..
what if 1 day i am honest to u..
i told u smth that
u cant believe..
n u keep deny the truth..
end up the truth will hurt u deeply only..
do u understand?
sometimes there's things i dont wanna say is not cause i wanna talk trash about u in front of ppl..
like some of the ppl say
good stuff will nvr be heard.. but bad stuff.. it will always be heard no matter where u are =]
rumors rumors rumors all around..
if there's nth wrong with u there will be no rumors..
if there's nth to talk about u .
ppl wont start to talk..
am i right? =]
if i dun appreciate our friendship..
i wont even bother to be here..
writing all this..
i wont even bother telling ppl how i feel about u..
as u know that..
keeping smth inside ur heart..
is something vry suffering..
n also painful..
the only one that i can chat with in school was Y.
i always tell her how i feel about u..
but i mean no harm..
i just need someone to be there to listen to how i feel..
u made me understand that..
things should be kept to myself..
nxt time whatever i hear or felt
i wont even tell anyone =]
thank you for making me understand this..
to avoid any other misunderstanding..
i will just shut up .. =]
weather u still treat me as ur friend or not..
it really don't matter to me anymore..
cause what my friend said is right..
if ur friends appreciate u..
they will always be with u no matter what..
but if they don't no point being friends right? =]
of coz i hope that we can continue to be friends but if u think that..
u can't accept me as ur friend anymore..
it's ok =]
i sincerely say sorry to u..
cause i know i hurt ur feelings when i told J n Y what i said..
but then that is how i feel ..
n i sincerely say sorry to u for what i said about u ..
which is also how i felt about u all the time..
i do admit i don't like ur attitude sometimes..
but then this is u.. i have no rights to ask u to change..
it's ur decision ..
i can't force to do anything..
and i am not asking u to change ur attitude ..
i am just writing out how i feel =]
writen on ♥ 11:29 PM
